My Word Collection

Theresa Maynard


If I know the source of a quote, I will include the source.
If I did not properly cite a quote, tell me how to make the citation better.
If you know the source of an uncited quote, let me know so I may add that source.


"If you think education is expensive - try ignorance."
Derek C. Bok

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
Mark Twain, attributed in Reader's Digest, 1946

"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it."

"Education has for its object the formation of character."
Herbert Spencer, Social Statistics, 1851

"In the fields of observation chance favors only the prepared mind."
Louis Pasteur, Inaugural Letter, University of Lille, 1854

"It is only the ignorant who despise education."
Publilius Syrus Maxim 571

"The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows."
Sydney J. Harris

"Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself."
John Dewey

"The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives."
Robert Maynard Hutchins

"I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework."
Lily Tomlin as Edith Ann

"Education would be much more effective if its purpose was to ensure that by the time they leave school every boy and girl should know how much they do not know, and be imbued with a lifelong desire to know it."
William Haley

"Education is not the filling of a pail but the lighting of a fire."
William Butler Yeats

"I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated."
Al McGuire

"I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught."
Winston Churchill

"The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind."
Kahlil Gibran


"The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence on the way."

"We see things not as they are, but as we are."

"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination."

"The one who listens is the one who understands."

"There are no shortcuts to anyplace worth going."

"I've always tried to go a step past wherever people expected me to end up."

"What does not destroy me, makes me stronger."
Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human, 1878

"Wisdom is not bought."
African Proverb (Akan)

"All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time."


"She knows wot's wot, she does."
Charles Dickens, Pickwick Papers, 1837

"The Nineteenth Amendment---I think that's the one that made Women humans by Act of Congress."
Will Rogers, Mr. Toastmaster and Democrats, 1929

"A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost."

"That . . . man . . . says women can't have as much rights as man, cause Christ wasn't a woman. Where did your Christ come from? . . . From God and a woman. Man had nothing to do with him."
Sojourner Truth, 1851

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"I cannot live without books."
Thomas Jefferson letter to John Adams 1814

"When his work opens its mouth, the author has to shut his."
Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human, 1878

"Classic. A book which people praise and don't read."
Mark Twain, Following the Equator, 1897

"From your parents you learn love and laughter and how to put one foot before the other. But when books are opened you discover that you have wings."
Helen Hayes

"My home is where my books are."
Ellen Thompson

"Reading makes immigrants of us all. It takes us away from home, but more important, it finds homes for us everywhere."
Hazel Rochman

"A great novel is a kind of conversion experience. We come away from it changed."
Katherine Patterson

"There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them."
Joseph Brodsky

"Books are carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculations at a standstill."
Barbara Tuchman

"It is not true that we have only one life to live; if we can read, we can live as many more lives and as many kinds of lives as we wish."
S.I. Hiyakawa

"I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound and stab us."
Franz Kafka

"And indeed, what is better than to sit by oneís fireside in the evening with a book, while the wind beats against the window and the lamp is burning?"
Gustave Falubert, Madame Bovary


"Our patience will achieve more than our force."
Edmund Burke

"I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end."
Margaret Thatcher

"How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees."
William Shakespeare

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish."
John Quincy Adams

"Patience and tenacity of purpose are worth more than twice their weight of cleverness."
Thomas Henry Huxley

"Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength."
Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience."

"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time."
Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy

"Hope is patience with the lamp lit."

"Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet."
Jean-Jacques Rousseau

"Patience is the most necessary quality for business, many a man would rather you heard his story than grant his request."
Lord Chesterfield

"Who ever is out of patience is out of possession of their soul."
Francis Bacon


"And thank you for a house full of people I love. Amen."
Ward Elliot Hour

"We all grow up with the weight of history on us. Our ancestors dwell in the attics of our brains as they do in the spiraling chains of knowledge hidden in every cell of our bodies."
Shirley Abbott

"The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together."
Erma Bombeck

"Family is just accident . . . They don't mean to get on your nerves. They don't even mean to be your family, they just are."
Marsha Norman

"What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories."
George Eliot

"When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses."
Joyce Brothers

"In some families, please is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was sorry."
Margaret Laurence

"Family quarrels have a total bitterness unmatched by others. Yet it sometimes happens that they also have a kind of tang, a pleasantness beneath the unpleasantness, based on the tacit understanding that this is not for keeps; that any limb you climb out on will still be there later for you to climb back."
Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."
Desmond Tutu

"An ounce of blood is worth more than a pound of friendship."
Spanish Proverb

"Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts."

"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one."
Jane Howard

"In a houseful of toddlers and pets, you can start out having a bad day, but you keep getting detoured."
Robert Brault

"Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted."
Paul Pearshall

"The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family."
Thomas Jefferson

"The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to."
Dodie Smith

"If the family were a fruit, it would be an orange, a circle of sections, held together but separable - each segment distinct."
Letty Cottin Pogrebin

"The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us to become our best while looking our worst."
Marge Kennedy

"The family is one of nature's masterpieces."
George Santayana, The Life of Reason

"Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family."
Anthony Brandt

"Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present, and future."
Gail Lumet Buckley

"If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same."
Robert Braul

"Are we not like two volumes of one book?"
Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

"The lack of emotional security of our American young people is due, I believe, to their isolation from the larger family unit. No two people - no mere father and mother - as I have often said, are enough to provide emotional security for a child. He needs to feel himself one in a world of kinfolk, persons of variety in age and temperament, and yet allied to himself by an indissoluble bond which he cannot break if he could, for nature has welded him into it before he was born."
Pearl S. Buck


"There are no shortcuts to anyplace worth going."

"Procrastination is the thief of time."

"For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness."

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."

"What can be most irritating are people talking without speaking and people hearing without listening."


"This is precisely the sort of thing that people who like this sort of thing will like."

"The important thing is to not stop questioning."

"It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees."

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

"The decision doesn't have to be logical, it was unanimous."

"How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored?"

"You know it's a bad morning when you get up out of bed and miss the floor."

"All men have the right to dig their own graves, and I have the right to sell them the shovels."

"Bad things come to those who wait too."

"A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no discernible difference. Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts. Why should I be concerned?"

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."

"You DON'T want me to translate that. No, really, you don't."

"Confidence: a feeling peculiar to the stage just before full comprehension of the problem."

"They are a puckish band of rapscallions."

"Acting without thinking can be awfully entertaining."

"A little madness now and then is relished by the wisest men."

"If you feel like you've got to lead, at least get out of my way."

"It can't rain all the time."

"You wouldn't be so smug if you really knew what was going on."

"And I alone am returned to wag the tail."

"Do not merely believe in miracles, rely on them."

"A motion to adjourn is always in order."

"Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent."

"Time is a plaything for children and fools."

"Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once."

"Tongue-tied and twisted, just an earthbound misfit, I."

"I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables!"

"As the Euclideans would have it, irrationality is the square root of all evil."

"Evolution doesn't take prisoners."

"Anarchy -- it's not the law, it's just a good idea."

"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision."

"After all, we only go around once. There's really no time to be afraid."

"Twas Brillig, and the slithey toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe; all mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe."

"If you have to ask, you're not allowed to know."

"Nothing quite like the feel of something new..."

"When the naive man admits his naivete, he is no longer naive. Thus, all people are regarded by society as either ignorant or a liar."

"I need someone real bad. Are you real bad?"

"A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none."

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be."

"For every new foolproof invention there is a new and improved fool."


"Pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled a bullet out of my chest."

"Time is a great teacher, but it kills all its pupils."

"Being a doormat gets you walked on."

"Save the whales! Collect the whole set!"

"Everybody is equal here. It's just some people are more equal than others."

"As a goat herder learns his trade by goat, so a writer learns his trade by wrote."

"Nietzsche thought he was the Antichrist or Dionysus, but that was after the syphilis crossed the blood-brain barrier."

"If at first you don't succeed, try following the instructions."

"I dance around and sing a song and know that I can do no wrong."

"Freedom is just a hallucination created by a pathological lack of paranoia."

"Boxing is a lot like ballet, except that they don't dance, there isn't any music, and they hit each other."

"The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist is afraid that it is."

"The concept is simply staggering. Pointless, but staggering."

"For some reason the concept of sacrificing accuracy to increase efficiency seems inherently wrong."

"When you have had all that you can take, put the rest back."

"I don't believe in reason, objective reality or collective farming."

"Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence."

"You lookin' at me? You lookin' at me?!"

"You will find that the State is the kind of organization which, while it does big things badly, does small things badly too."

"If I let you go, do you think you could fly?"

"It's always easier to just fall than to try to climb."

"I just like to say quark, quark, quark, quark, quark, quark... "

"History: an account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, brought about by rulers mostly knaves and soldiers mostly fools."

"Sin that pays its way can travel freely, and without a passport; whereas virtue, if a pauper, is stopped at all frontiers."

"I've given up the search for reality; now I'm just looking for a good fantasy."

"Despite the high cost of living, it remains a popular item."

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."

"Because it's there."

"No matter where you are, there you go. Wait a second!"

"We intend to destroy all dogmatic verbal systems."

"You're twisted, depraved, and rotten to the core . . . I like that in a person."

"Sarcasm helps you avoid telling people what you really think of them."

"This statement is false."

"Change your mind, it's starting to smell."

"I wouldn't know how to act if I weren't in trouble."

"Make your own mistakes, not somebody else's."

"Ban Censorship!"

"Yield to oncoming traffic."

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."

"The problem with troubleshooting is that real trouble shoots back."

"Quantum Express: When you absolutely, positively, don't know where it's going or when it needs to be there."

"Anything not nailed down is mine. Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down."

"I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as long as a week sometimes to make it up."

"I may have my faults, but being wrong isn't one of them."

"Lions: 5, Christians: 0."

"Today is an excellent day to become a missing person."

"I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous."

"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense."

"Monday is an awful way to spend one-seventh of your life."

"Bullshit makes the flowers grow and that's beautiful."

"Convictions cause convicts."

"Believe nothing, dare all."

"Sometimes I become spell-bound in the middle of Wal-Mart."

"No matter how good it is, there's always better."

"No matter how bad it is, there's always worse."

"Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced."

"Question reality."

"A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day."

"Don't force it, use a bigger hammer."

"Dare to be stupid."

"Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space."

"People will buy anything that's one to a customer."

"Some men are discovered; others are found out."

"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get."

"There is no heavier burden than a great potential."

"All in all it's just another brick in the wall . . ."

"Change your thoughts and you change your world."

"Bored people are boring people."

"And the first one said to the second one there, "I hope you're having fun."

"Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you."

"All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time."

"Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites."

"We could do that, but it would be wrong, that's for sure."

"The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man confines himself within ancient limits."

"Wonders never cease, as long as you never cease to wonder."

"Your ignorance cramps my conversation."

"Eggs on top, canned goods on the bottom . . ."

"Never appeal to a man's better nature. He may not have one."

"Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have."

"The reason people get lost in thought is because it is, to many, rather unfamiliar territory."

"Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING."

"Dont'cha hate it when that happens?"

"Mow Mow Boppa Mow Mow Mow"

Many discordia quotes borrowed from alt.discordia, apparently originally from Lost Souls
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"There should be a sarcasm font."

"Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm."

"I thank God that you are unique."

"I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you."

"Whoever told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice."

"He never slows down to think; it's not pleasant spending extra time with his own thoughts."

"Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive."

"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
Thomas Carlyle

"The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech."
George Bernard Shaw

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
William Faulkner

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"When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other."
Eric Hoffe

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
Irvin S. Cobb

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
Forrest Tucker

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
Abraham Lincoln

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."

"If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed."
Mark Twain

"If youíre one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you."

"Donít be humble. Youíre not that great."

"Going to church doesnít make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."

"Iím impressed, Iíve never met such a small mind inside such a big head before."

"Sarcasm is the body's natural defence against stupidity."

"Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver."


"I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful."

"A smile confuses an approaching frown."

"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."
Phyllis Diller

"The world always looks brighter from behind a smile."

"Start every day with a smile and get it over with."
W.C. Fields

"Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available."
Jim Beggs

"A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks."
Charles Gordy

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."
Mark Twain, Following the Equator

"The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief."
William Shakespeare, Othello

"A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home."

"Always remember to be happy because you never know who's falling in love with your smile."

"If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine."

"A laugh is a smile that bursts."
Mary H. Waldrip

"The shortest distance between two people is a smile."

"If you don't start out the day with a smile, it's not too late to start practicing for tomorrow."

"Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."
Mother Teresa

"A friendly look, a kindly smile, one good act, and life's worthwhile."

"A smile can brighten the darkest day."

"A smile is something you can't give away; it always comes back to you."